Checking In

Posted on Thu Jan 4th, 2018 @ 12:36am by Lieutenant JG Siobahn Fallon

Mission: https://wellington.pegasusfleet.site/index.php/sim/missions/id/4
Location: Quarters
Timeline: Current

Medical kit in hand, Siobahn chimed the annunciation outside the quarters Cally was currently staying in and waited for the other woman to answer. She was on her lunch break and had decided to check in on Cally while she had some free time.

Walking in to The quarters, Siobahn smiled warmly at Cally. “Hey there Ms Cally, how are you feelin’ today?”

Cally's hair was frazzled as if she had been running her hand through it for hours on end and her eyes were bloodshot, "I... I'm d-doing fine." She said, gesturing to the inside of the quarters. A hand reflexively reached up for her hair until she jerked it back down.

Siobahn's eyes widened slightly as she dropped the medical kit on the couch and grabbed out the medical tricorder. "Sit!" she ordered Cally, pointing to the couch next to the medical bag. "Clearly you're not fine, what's goin' on? I can help but not until you tell me what's goin' on."

Calypso sat at the command, eyes flitting around, "I c-can't stop thinking... It doesn't matter what I do, I can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking..."

"Close your eyes," Siobahn ordered softly, holding the tricorder up and watching the readings, concern clearly etched on her face. "Cally, I'm going to give you a shot, ok? It might sting a little." She reached into the medical bag and grabbed a hypospray, loading it with a cartridge and pressing it to the other woman's neck. Once the dose had been delivered, Siobahn dropped the hypospray back in the bag and reached for Cally's hand, holding it gently. "Just breathe slowly and count to 10 okay? It will work quickly."

Cally did as Siobahn commanded, relief showing on her face as the contents of the hypospray took effect, "Thank you, ma'am." She said quietly, "What was in that?"

"Something to take the edge off your anxiety," Siobahn said gently. "Now, tell me about these thoughts."

Shuddering, Cally buried her head in her hands, "I see them all the time, Jerry, his brains are all over the place, and me a hole in the cockpit, and I bring the bird down without cracking her up, somehow... Engines were gone, one shot off the bird entirely, holes in the wings... But I hear nothing from the troop compartment, so I go back there and see that a shot hit it dead on. Nothing left in there, just a few pieces here and there. All that shit and everyone's dead. My crew chief, he was flying with me for two years, Jerry was on his first flight."

"It's okay," Siobahn said softly, squeezing her hand gently. She stood up and walked over to the replicator, getting a glass of cold water and handing it to Cally before going to the bathroom and taking a wash cloth and running it under water. Returning to the couch, she sat next to Cally again, placing the cloth around the back of her neck. "Are there any other thoughts trapped in your mind?" she asked quietly.

Cally shook her head in a no gesture, "I can't stop. Shit, shit, shit, Jerry was going to marry his girl two weeks later, my crew chief was going to be transferred the next day because she was pregnant, the soldiers... The Marines TRUSTED me to get them down intact and I SURVIVED." She cried, "How, why did I survive when they didn't?"

Siobahn slipped her arm around Cally's shoulder. "You did everything right," she said gently. "You need to know that. Every single one of them died with honour, they died doing what they loved, just as you were doing what you love. It hurts to have lost them, but remembering them is doing an honor to them, it means they still matter."

"They died because I jinked the wrong way, or too slowly, or too predictably." Cally argued, "They died and I wish I had died with them."

"No," Siobahn said softly. "This is what happens in war. People die. You did nothin' wrong." She sighed, realising that her words were futile. "Cally," she finally asked softly, her words becoming tentative. "When you drink, do these thoughts stop hauntin' you?"

"Jerry stops asking me why I didn't go left, Nelly doesn't try to put her baby in my arms anymore, there aren't seventy troops standing in front of me, staring." Cally nodded, tortured eyes meeting Siobahn's, "It drowns out the pain."

"Oh darlin'" Siobahn said softly. "I expected as much. I think you have some issues with post traumatic stress. I'm going to schedule you with regular sessions with the counsellor, I think it will be helpful for you. You need to get these memories out of your head. I know you feel better when you drink, but it doesn't really help and it's gonna kill you in the end."

"You promise?" Cally asked, meaning the last potential outcome.

Siobahn closed her eyes for a moment before speaking. “Cally, I am not going to let this beat you,” she said quietly. “I will schedule some sessions with the counsellor for you, if you don’t want to speak to the counsellor you can talk with me if you prefer... but I will not let this beat you. Do you understand that?”

"Yes, ma'am." Cally sounded miserable, "I just. Ever have voices in your head, I mean, lots of voices just get snuffed out?" She didn't wait for a response, "I do."

“Right now you are going to go take a nice warm shower and I am going to replicate something for you to eat, then I am going to give you something that will make you stop thinking, okay?” Siobahn said gently. “It is going to make you sleep... a deep sleep with no dreams and no thoughts... I will sit here until you wake if you want me to, I don’t mind... otherwise I can call someone else to come stay with you, like Hailey or another one of your friends. I will do this how ever you like it, but I will do this one way or another.” Her voice was gentle yet firm and Siobahn made it clear that she was not going to take no for an answer.

Calypso nodded in resignation, "Okay..."

“Go shower,” Siobahn said gently. “A shower will make you feel infinitely better while I make the rest of the arrangements.”

Cally stood and trudged towards the bathroom, head down. Yes, she'd follow orders now, it was better than the alternative.

Chicken soup and crusty bread replicated and sitting on the table along with a glass of water, Siobahn waited until Cally returned from the shower and motioned for her to sit. "It's only replicated, but it will make you feel better," she said gently.

With a sigh, Siobahn sank down into the seat, just watching the other woman in silence. It was easy to see that this was taking a toll on her, and she was genuinely concerned at how well Cally was going to get through this.

Lacklusterly, Cally ate, almost as if she were a machine programmed to do it. To her, it tasted like ashes, but she had been ordered to do it. By an ensign. "I don't know." She said, apparently for no reason.

"What don't you know Cally?" Siobahn asked softly.

"If I can do this." She answered, "Maybe I should... Just go."

"You don't need to do everything," Siobahn replied gently. "Just take it all one thing at a time." She reached for her medical kit and took out the hypo spray, loading another cartridge into it. "Right now, the only thing you need to do is sleep, okay?" She held up the hypospray. "After you've had some real sleep things will feel a bit better. Now, do you want me to stay, or do you want me to get someone else for you?"

"I'll be fine on my own." Cally said quietly, "Don't worry, I won't hurt myself, I... Not yet, at least."

"I'll stay with you for a little bit, just to make sure you are alright after I have given you the sedative. Once I know you're okay I'll leave you in peace, but I'll be back in the morning." Siobahn smiled as she held the hypo up to Cally's neck and pressed the button to administer the dose. "Alright, now, you're probably going to have about 15 minutes, maybe 20 minutes before this stuff fully kicks in and I expect you will probably sleep for at least a solid 12 hours or so. Make sure you keep some water near your bed, you may feel a little dry mouth when you wake up in the morning. Okay?"

Cally nodded again, the fight that usually was in her body and eyes when she had drinking she could do was just gone. She looked diminished, smaller than she already was and she followed Siobahn's directions without question and was shortly fast asleep.

Sighing softly, Siobahn sank down onto the couch and pulled a PADD out of her medical bag, making some notes that she would later have to find a way to transpose into Cally's medical file without revealing how the information came to light. She rubbed her temples lightly as she let the PADD sit on her lap and turned her gaze toward the door to Cally's bedroom. She had a very, very long road ahead... and Siobahn just hoped that Cally had the strength to get through it.

OFF:
Ensign Siobahn Fallon
Medical Officer
USS Wellington

Lieutenant Calypso Skyie
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Wellington