Dear Life...

Posted on Wed Apr 18th, 2018 @ 3:22am by Lieutenant JG Siobahn Fallon

Mission: https://wellington.pegasusfleet.site/index.php/sim/missions/id/4
Location: Personal Quarters

Siobahn found herself smiling as she walked out of sickbay at the end of her shift. Despite the fact that she had started the day with no sleep and a caffiene buzz that didn't even get her through the session with Ami, the rest of the day had gone pretty well. A jar of chocolate covered coffee beans had kept her buzzing through most of her shift, which thankfully provided a rather steady stream of distractions for her, and now that her shift was over, well, she had decided that she had two choices. She could sit around in her quarters, sulking and feeling sorry for herself, or she could take matters into her own hands and find something to keep herself occupied...

Returning to her own quarters, she took a long hot shower before changing into comfortable low rider jeans and a tshirt, adding a pair of boots and rebraiding her hair before replicating a mug of hot mocha, and carrying it across to the view port and staring out at the stars as she sipped at the hot liquid.

Life had a way of changing at an alarming pace, especially her life, and not always in the best possible ways. Sometimes she found herself swept up in the rip and needed to just wait it out until she could catch her breath and find her footing, and really, that's what this time was giving her. Time to stop, step back and just look at what had happened and what was still happening.

While this time she hadn't exactly gone off the rails, having a few moments of clarity she realised that she was most definitely in danger of losing herself again, and that wasn't exactly something she wasn't exactly thrilled about.

Running away to the Delta Quadrant as soon as she had graduated, even before finishing her post graduate specialisations had been an attempt to put the past behind her and lay the ghosts to rest, so to speak. She hadn't planned on getting all the way out here and finding herself falling for someone, let alone someone like Hailey.

The death of her parents had been hard. They were civilians. She had not grown up surrounded by the dangers that life as a Star Fleet officer brought to the table, even in times of peace. The most egregious injury that she could recall either of her parents ever sustaining was a paper cut... until that day, and then they were gone.

Less than two months later she was called out of the middle of an exam to be told her brother was dead.

Everyone who had been most important to her had been taken from her, without logic, cause or reason, at least that she was aware of. Everything about Hailey's position flirted with danger and death at every turn, she pointed it out herself regularly.

Having already lost everyone she loved, could she go through losing Hailey as well?

Siobahn knew she had handled this instance badly, and she had said as much to Ami. While she couldn't specifically put her finger on it, the entire situation had been delivered in a manner that was completely devoid of emotion, there was something about the indifference that Hailey had portrayed that had set her on edge and she had turned around and run away without so much as saying goodbye.

But this was who Hailey was and Siobahn would never ask or expect her to change. She loved Hailey, and that was why she would never try to change her. Love was supposed to be unconditional. The good and the bad. The question was, did she love her enough to be the one sitting here waiting? Waiting for her to come home? Waiting to find out if she was alive or dead?

With a sigh, Siobahn pushed herself away from the bulkhead, glancing at the now near cold liquid in her mug, her face screwing up in distaste. Standing here questioning herself was going to make her crazy. She needed to do something, anything. She needed to move on.

Recycling the mug, she tossed her braid back over her shoulder, added a dash of lipgloss and headed out into the corridor.

First stop was going to be the lounge and a good drink or three... and who knows, maybe while she was there she would find someone to pass some time with. After all, they had infinite resources at their fingertips, there was unlimited things to do and she had decided that tonight she was up for adventure and action. Who knows, maybe she would even go and jump off a perfectly good bridge. That was something she hadn't done in a while. The possibilities, once her mind was made up, were endless!

END

Ensign Siobahn Fallon
Medical Officer
USS Wellington