There's No Escape For The Broken Hearted (Part 1)

Posted on Sun Feb 17th, 2019 @ 10:20pm by Ensign Andrew Gervais

Mission: https://wellington.pegasusfleet.site/index.php/sim/missions/id/5
Location: Icarus Temp Quarters
Timeline: August 10, 2399 (Before Fill In The Blanks)

As promised, Andrew returned to where Paul was staying. He knew he shouldn't be spending too much time with him, but he figured he found a way to make himself happy again. If Paul would allow it. They had spent a bit of time with each other, against the advice of almost everyone, including Commodore Myers. The Commodore was worried that Andrew hadn't sufficiently gotten over his own Paul, never mind the ramifications for the timeline. What if Paul was to stop something but couldn't do it because of Andrew? He knew there were risks, but this was the closest to human he'd felt in weeks. He walked through the makeshift camp and headed to Paul's bed.

"Feeling better?" he asked

"A little, but not 100% yet." Paul replied. "Comfortable ship. Wish I had my own quarters to enjoy it. If I didn't have to go back, I'd probably try and just stow away." he added.

Andrew laughed. "I mean, you always you could.... We could use another pilot."

"You know I can't do that." Paul said. "Once it's go time, I have to head back to the Icarus. They need me."

"Even though I need you more?" Andrew asked. He knew maybe that was guilting him and he knew it probably wouldnt work... But it never hurt to lay on the charm.

"What's left of the Federation needs me more." Paul said... "I wish I could stay though." he added, sadly.

"I've been thinking about your dilemma since our walk the other night." Andrew said. They had caught up after they first saw each other, filled each other in on the details of what had been going on in their respective universes and lives. Andrew never divulged anything major, just personal details. "I'd like to come with you."

"To where?" Paul asked.

"The Icarus." Gervais replied. "I... It's good seeing you again and being with you and.... I miss it. I'm tired of being alone and adrift and miserable. Everything feels complete here."

Paul looked back at him, utterly stunned. This wasn't *his* Andrew. This wasn't *his* reality. "Andrew..." Paul said before bracing himself, knowing how he was going to react. "I care for you more than I've cared for anyone. But... I can't. I can't let you do that."

Andrew looked back at Paul in shock. "Why not? We don't have to lose each other again." he said. "We can be together as we should be."

"No... Andrew, look... I'm not trying to be difficult. But... Do you know what it's like in my universe? I'm not on the Good Ship Lollipop over there.. We're fighting to try to save what's left of the Federation before more and more of us get killed. In my world... Your parents are dead. Most of your family never made it off Earth. You'd have no support system if something happened to me. I can't put you through that. And if something happened to you? I'd have lost you twice and that would end me."

"But you said you've missed me." Andrew asked, irritated and confused.

"I did. I do. I... I miss the Andrew Gervais in my world as much as you miss the Paul Copeland in yours." Paul replied. "But I have to protect you. And I think that your Paul would do or say the same."

As Andrew was about to object, Paul interrupted. "I know, I don't know your Paul. But it seems for as similar as you are to Andrew in my world, Paul was pretty close to me."

"You don't get it." Andrew said. "If you loved your Andrew as much as you claimed, you wouldn't even fight this."

"I won't let you." Paul replied. "Because I have to look out for you. I also have to get ready. Why don't we spend a few more hours together before I head out? Cool your head. I want to see you one last time."

"Last??" Andrew said. "I'm tired of last times with you, Paul." he added, his voice breaking a bit. "It's so easy for you."

"Andrew..." Paul said.

"No. It is." Gervais replied, his voice breaking further... "My Paul didn't even leave a goodbye note or anything. Never told me what I was supposed to do, how I was supposed to carry on... He never expected this and now I have to try and stumble my way through it. And now? I have to do it all over again and I still don't know what to do!"

"I can't answer that for you, Andrew." Paul replied. "I can tell you what I know... What I would have wanted my Andrew to do... I'd have wanted him to try and be happy again... To move forward. Not forget about me, but not allow grief to put his life on hold for me. I think yours would want that too" he said, moving in to give Gervais a hug. "I'll see you later tonight. We'll have a proper goodbye." he said, giving Andrew a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you." Andrew said.

"I love you, too." Paul replied.

Andrew let out a bit of a smirk as he wiped his eye.... "My Paul always used to say "Same, I guess." It's how he replied the first time I ever told him that. And it just became kind of a sarcastic inside joke."

Paul chuckled. "I wish I was that creative." he said. "I guess I never had time for sarcasm when I never knew if I'd see my Andrew again."

"Did you leave him a goodbye note? Just in case?" Andrew asked.

"I did." Paul replied. "But I expect not to survive the day pretty much every day I wake up."

Andrew nodded... "I'll go clear my head and we'll get together later tonight."

Paul kissed Andrew on the cheek again. "Sounds good. See you in a bit."

==TO BE CONTINUED...==

Ensign Andrew Gervais
Adjutant to the TFCO
Starfleet Command

Ensign Paul Copeland (Alternate)
Flight Control Officer
USS Icarus