Practically Practical

Posted on Thu Dec 14th, 2017 @ 11:58pm by Lieutenant Renee Salchin & Lieutenant Cor Cordale

Mission: https://wellington.pegasusfleet.site/index.php/sim/missions/id/4
Location: Main Engineering

Renee's eyes locked on the furry blue Thux as soon as she entered Engineering and the mini-her inside her head began to cackle and rub her hands together. Of course, the real her knew that she could be undone if she'd misjudged the alien, but it was far more fun with someone else. She sidled her way up to him and leaned down as if to study something on his screen, "Hey, umm... Cor, do you have a minute?"

Cordale was working on a panel by one of the consoles, standard routine maintenance at this point. Change the chips, run a test, move on. Change the chips, run a test, pretty girl.

Wait.

"Oh hey." he turned his attention toward Renee, those icy blue eyes fixing on her then quickly finding her eyes. "A minute? Sure. What's up?"

"Well, I know someone who likes jokes and I happen to know that she is looking for someone to help her with the planning and execution of said jokes." Despite her not saying her own name, it was obvious that Renee was referring to herself, "Would you happen to know someone who might be desirous of helping her?"

He gave her a smirk, "I might know a guy." he paused, hoping that it was clear that he was indicating himself. Though, if she didn't say who, and he didn't say who, this wouldn't go anywhere fast. "Dat'd be me." he cleared the air real fast. "So, who needs a bit of a joke on 'em?"

Renee's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "There are sooo many choices! I know I really want to help cheer up a few people but I'm not sure who to cheer up first.. Let's say... Lieutenant Masterson, he seems a bit down right now."

"The Computer Tech?" Cor asked for clarity, "I mean sure. What are we talking, glitter in the air vent? Sonic showers tuned to old Earth holiday music? Boson plate re-calibration?"

"Peanut butter. " Renee said simply, "But I love those other ideas, too! But I was thinking of replacing his shampoo with a creamy peanut butter of the same consistency. Or something like that. I should have really thought it out before I came to see you..."

"As someone who goes through an AWFUL lot of conditioner, replacing someone hair care with confectionery peanut butter is an awful thing to do. It'd be hard to hide that scent, though. Peanut Butter has a very distinctive scent, and most bipedal life can recognize it instantly. You'd be better off using something with a more subtle scent." he paused, "Like jam."

"Hmm... Strawberry?" She questioned, then shook her head, "The seeds would be everywhere... But we could take the seeds out and thatd be easy enough to do! And thankfully, we humans only have a little bit of hair in comparison to your luxurious fur."

He actually chuckled, "We can de-seed the jam. That's the easy part." he paused, "And thanks. I try to keep it nice and shiny but between you, me, and the seventeen recording devices on us right now, sometimes it's a pain in the tail. Hell, worst place is on the scar. Lucky me, that's here." he tapped his chest, close to his shoulder before he smirked, "And don't get me started on the tail. It's like no on in Starfleet ever heard of tails, so doors just close when the main torso goes through. It's like a damn race."

He chuckled, but then calmed himself after a bit, "So yeah, set any replicator to remove seeds or inform the replicator that the intended consumer of the jam has Condition Eighty Eight." he advised. "See, replicators gotta take everyone's health into account. Condition Eighty Eight is an old Earth digestive issue where seeds in the food are a huge problem. They don't teach that anymore because modern replicators check everyone's medical file at the time of ordering." he pointed out. "Minored in replicator theory, before I was asked to leave the class for potentially putting the teacher's nephew out of a job."

Renee giggled, "I know a bit about them, hell, I know a lot about everything having to do with the workings of the ship, but I don't know all the little details of little things, such as, well replicators and such."

Cordale chuckled, "Oh I was a tiny baby god when it came to Replicators. I learned all the little tricks you could do with them. Figured out how to futz with the ratios to simulate aged booze, flat soda, all those things that folks say you can't, or shouldn't, replicate. It's always a party at the Thuxpad, because the popcorn pops AFTER you replicate it." he chuckled again.

Then he got serious for a moment, "This'll be good. We need a few laughs after everything that happened. Too much serious." then he paused, "Wow, okay, I talk can good." and he chuckled again.

Renee giggled again at the flubbering of words, "And I really do want to make people laugh. As my old boss said, 'Don't take life too seriously, you're gonna die anyways.'"

"That's a shitty way to say it but they got a point." Cor mentioned, but yeah, they had a point. "Anywho, lemme get this checklist finished and then we can start plotting." he brought up the console he was working on, and had it run through a few quick math checks. "Just another dozen to go."

Renee's eyes glimmered, "I think this is the start of a wondiferous relationship, Cor! I'll go make myself buay c just let me kjow when you're all set."


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Lt. Cor Cordale
Assistant Chief Engineering Thux
USS Wellington

Lt Renee Salchin
Research and Development Devious Plotter
USS Wellington