Upon Reflection of the Moment

Posted on Sat Jan 6th, 2018 @ 7:29pm by Major Hailey Weston & Lieutenant JG Siobahn Fallon

Mission: https://wellington.pegasusfleet.site/index.php/sim/missions/id/4
Location: Siobahn’s Quarters
Timeline: Late/Early

Siobahn sat on the small chair in her bedroom, wrapped in a soft white robe, watching Hailey as she was sleeping. She sighed softly, feeling thoroughly confused. She liked Hailey, that much was apparent. It wasn’t just the chemistry between them that made her nerves zing and tingle when ever Hailey was around, but also just the fact that they seemed to have fun together and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Even something as simple as going for a run was more enjoyable when Hailey was by her side.

But now.. after tonight on the holodeck...

What happened with he holodeck was a mistake, a mistake on her part. She had been scrolling the holodeck program list and has seen what she thought was a quaint English pub and she had thought Hailey would enjoy it, she had somehow managed to miss the fact that it was intended to be a hand to hand combat scenario...

But when it had all gone bad, Hailey had immediately jumped in and gone into full fight mode... it wasn’t just that, but she had pulled a fire arm... where had that fire arm even come from? She had gotten changed right here, in Siobahn’s quarters. Hailey had stripped down to nothing but a pair of black panties and then put on Siobahn’s clothing, and she knew there was no way a gun had been in her quarters previously. So where did it come from?

They were going on a date... it was supposed to be fun... why did she feel the need to be armed?

With another sigh she stood up and tiptoed quietly to the main living area of her small quarters and carefully removed the books from her replicator and replicated a glass of cool water. She assessed the chaos of her quarters, the couch was covered, so instead she grabbed a book and walked across to the corner and sank down to the floor, opening the book and making a pretense of attempting to read as she sipped her water.

Hailey opened her eyes slightly in one of her 'typical', she thought of them, semi-awake moments that happened several times a sleep cycle, her mind/body's way of sticking a periscope up to look for danger. It took a few seconds, before which she'd closed her eyes, for her brain to register the sight, or rather the lack thereof. She opened them again and blinked most of the sleep away before she sat up blearily, senses starting to come about. She swiped a sleeve of the nightshirt, another thing Siobahn had lent to her, then swung her legs off the bed and padded over to the doorway in bare feet.

For a few seconds, during which she scanned the quarters with her eyes, she focused on the woman who hada book open, but wasn't reading, "Siobahn?" She asked, "Are you okay?"

Siobahn smiled vaguely. “I couldn’t sleep,” she said softly, “so I thought I would try and fit some study in... I emptied out the replicator if you want something... you’re welcome to join me, the floor is surprisingly comfortable...” she tried to smile again, but even in the semi darkness it was clear that the smile didn’t quite go all the way to her eyes.

Hailey nodded and walked over to the replicator and requested two mugs of hot cocoa, with marshmallows, and carried them over to Siobahn, then gracefully sat down on the floor and handed one out to the redhead, "It looks like your mind is somewhere other than the book." She remarked, "Need to talk about it?"

Taking one of the mugs, Siobahn blew gently across the top to cool it down a little before taking a tentative sip. She closed the book and pushed it away before looking across at Hailey, studying her intently. In truth, she just didn't understand and she knew there was no point sitting there stewing on it. "Hailey," she said softly, almost tentatively. "Why did you have a firearm on the holodeck?" she paused for a moment. "You got changed here, I saw you dress, you didn't have a firearm... and then... suddenly... you just did."

Taking a sip of her own, Hailey nodded. This wasn't unexpected, especially after what happened, "I have a backup weapon in a removable holster I always carry at the small of my back, as well as the one I openly carry in uniform. When you turned around, I picked it up and tucked it in. I... I always go armed, on duty, off duty, to the bathroom." She cracked a slight smile at the last, "Mostly it's just habit and I have never needed to pull it in any real life scenario, but it's insurance against that scenario. There's very little more useless than a Raider without a weapon, okay, that's not really true, but a skilled person with a weapon can adapt to a changing situation easier, more options."

Pausing for a moment, Siobahn contemplated over the words that had been spoken, then she looked across at Hailey again, studying her for a moment. Drawing in a slow breath, she finally spoke again. "What happened to make you so paranoid?" she asked quietly. "People don't go on dates in a controlled environment with someone they like and carry a weapon unless something has happened to make them feel unsafe everywhere, so what happened that you feel unsafe with me?"

"It isn't that I feel unsafe with you, it isn't even about feeling unsafe everywhere." Hailey said, "To start with, do you know what a Marine Raider is?" She watched Siobahn shake he head slowly, then Hailey nodded, "Right. A Raider is a member of THE elite special operations units of the Corps, the ones who go and do the real dangerous jobs. Deep strikes unsupported behind enemy lines, reconnaissance missions where we officially cannot go. Operations that straddle the lines between legal and illegal actions, and..." Hailey closed her eyes, "Sometimes operations that are straight up illegal by Federation law, but ordered by an oversight committee, typically."

She leaned back against the couch, cupping the mug in both hands, "People say security officers are paranoid, but they have support. To say we're on the sharp end of the stick is a lie, we're past the sharp end, almost always with the bare minimum of support or without any whatsoever, in hostile territory. Officially, I have never been inside Romulan space on anything other than a brief 'show the flag' visit one time. Unofficially, I have been in their territory five times, once on Romulus itself after an HVT, which we missed. Every minute we spend in one of those environments, we could be spotted and then hunted. So we're paranoid about everything, we don't know when we're going to need something to defend ourselves with."

"And since we know what we do, whose to say someone else isn't doing the same thing to us? Raiders are all loyal to the Federation, screening is heavy on that point as well as competency. There are very few of us who wouldn't put ourselves between danger and innocent lives, even knowing the odds are bad. And if we do that, it's better to have a weapon than to be unarmed. We can't carry our rifles or whatnot when not in uniform, so most of us have a gun of some sort inside a pocket, at our back, a purse, somewhere. To defend ourselves as well as the innocent." Hailey's cocoa was starting to get cool, but her eyes remained on Siobahn's face.

Siobahn paused for a long moment, contemplating over the words that had been spoken. In some ways it made a lot of sense, but still... there was something that gnawed at her. “If I asked you something,” Siobahn asked softly, “would you answer me honestly?”

Hailey nodded, "There are certain things I can't tell you about, but if your question is about them, I'll tell you. But if I can answer it, I absolutely will."

Siobahn hesitated for a moment, toying with the gooey marshmallow at the top of her mug. “Have you ever killed someone without being in a combat situation?” She finally asked softly.

An icy pit formed in Hailey's stomach., then dropped out the bottom. The answer to this could get her kicked out of these quarters and she would never see Siobahn again. But she'd already promised to be honest. She put the mug down and closed her eyes as she said "Yes."

A feel of shock coursed through her, but Siobahn remained mostly silent. "When?" was all she asked, even then the word was barely audible.

Hailey's eyes opened sadly, "At first it was just survival. I ran away and joined a gang when I was twelve, running drugs as a courier. I was just coming 'home' when I found the place deserted, i had turned fourteen, and I ended up killing a couple rivals and saving my boss's life in the process. Soon after that. He had me go after others, sometimes using myself to get them into bed and killing them with a knife. I also twice walked by, as if going to or from school, then shot them, dropped the gun, screamed and ran as if I had just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Shame filled her.

But those could be understood, she was a kid with very bad influences, could almost, ALMOST be forgiven. "I could technicaly tell the truth and say that all the others were combat cases, but I would only be kidding myself and lying tk you." Her hands clenched in her lap. "I have been involved in Intelligence missions with the Raiders, we're not as capable in some areas, but we do get seconded to them at times. And not just out of our borders. Out in the field, I have been a part of several assassinations, always worded differently than that, of course, but there were two operations on Federation planets. Both were covered under Oversight so they were technically legal, but I did a walkby on a confirmed foreign agent working for the Romulans and responsible for the deaths or captures of four Raider teams. It was remarkably simple, partial hypospray of air directly injected as a bubble into a major artery heading to his brain. Sound was covered by the noise of the cafe, Nico scrambled the cameras, he was dead before I'd gone three steps as if nothing had happened."

"The other was when we were on surveillance on a Senator suspected of treason and murder. We found out he had a liking for young girls and boys, too. Our hide was in a hotel room twenty meters away when we found that out. My orders were to take no action, no matter what. I disobeyed. I heard that if the shot gad been a half inch to either side he might have lived, but you know femoral arteries."

Hailey's eyes didn't rise. Until now, she hadn't been ashamed of of these, she still didn't feel ashamed of what she'd done, just having to reveal what and how to Siobahn, . "I've also been involved in raids against drug lords, crime bosses, called combat, but they never had a chance, even that Bolian with his private army..." She trailed off, finally coming to the end of words.

As Hailey stopped speaking, Siobahn just sat for a moment, absorbing, trying to find the words to express what was in her mind. Without speaking, she set her mug on the book and crawled across the small space between them, sitting close to Hailey's side, resting her head on Hailey's shoulder and covering Hailey's hands in her lap with her own. She squeezed Hailey's hand ever so gently, but remained silent for a long moment more.

After what no doubt felt like a small eternity to both of them, Siobahn finally spoke again. "Does it ever bother you?" she asked quietly. "As a medical officer you took an oath to save people, to do no harm..." She wasn't asking to be vindictive or nasty, she was just trying to understand.

Hailey shook her head, "It doesn't. I never took the Hippocratic Oath when i graduated, I didn't want to break it cadually and I knew what I was going back to do. A couple others like me took the oath, laughing that 'first, do no harm, says nothing about second or third'." She gave a very grim smile, "I do what I do because someone has to, and if I don't, someone else will. Whose to say they can do it better?"

"There is no one better than you," Siobahn replied quietly. After what felt like another eternity of silence with them both just sitting side by side, Siobahn sighed softly and shifted just enough so that even though they were still side by side, she could still look at Hailey, face to face. "Thank you," she said softly, "For bein' honest with me... but you should know..." She paused for a moment before reaching up and gently touching her fingers to Hailey's face. "Nothin' you have told me tonight changes anything. You are the strongest, bravest, most beautifully amazin' person I have ever known, and I love the fact that, at least for right now, you're mine."

"You know I can't stop doing it, I won't stop putting myself between danger and others. It means that I might have to leave and I might not come back from it." Hailey hurt to say it, "You have to know this." She smiled hopefully, "I am who I am and it's worth the price I pay, any price."

"I know you won't stop," Siobahn replied softly, "And now I understand." She sighed softly. "I have to be honest, I kinda like havin' you here with me a whole lot... so I can't really pretend to be okay with the fact that one day you might not come back... but I understand." She stopped speaking for a moment, drawing in a shaky breath before she spoke again. "I would never ask you to stop bein' who you are."

"If it helps, the team I'm putting together here isn't a true Raider team, but if it needs to act as one, I intend for it to be ready. We won't be out all the time, probably rarely." She brought Siobahn's hands up and kissed them, "But if you want, you, I'll try not to carry a gun all the time. I like having it with me, to be ready all the time."

Siobahn shook her head quickly. "No," she said softly. "Like I said, I won't ever ask you to stop bein' who you are. It gives you a sense of security, I won't take that away from you darlin'," she stopped and thought for a moment. "I like who you are, ALL of who you are, and now I know, next time it won't scare the bejeezus out of me." She offered a smile as she looked into Hailey's eyes.

"And if anyone tries to hurt you, they'll have to get through me first." Hailey placed her forehead against Siobahn's, "And they won't be able to."

"I know," Siobahn whispered in reply before moving just enough to gently brush her lips against Hailey's.

"So, now that you've gotten those questions answered?" Hailey's relief was apparent, "Think you can get some sleep?"

"Sleep sounds perfect," Siobahn replied, climbing to her feet and holding her hands out to help Hailey up. "Besides, I have a feelin' that you're still goin' to make me get up in the mornin' and go for a run, aren't you?"

"Of course, but I'd never force you." Hailey smiled as she took her hands and stood, "But you wouldn't want me to be alone, would you?"

Siobahn smiled as they returned to the bedroom. "No," she replied softly. "I never want you to be alone, at least not when I'm around."

OFF:
Major Hailey Weston
Marine CO
USS Wellington

Ensign Siobahn Fallon
Medical Officer
USS Wellington